Is there anything I can do about my mom and her boyfriend?

My dad passed away last September from lung cancer. I really thought she would step up and try her best to take care of my sisters and me on her own, even if it is difficult to be a single mother. However, she got herself a new boyfriend after only a couple of weeks. I told her it was too soon, but she told me dating him was the only way she could continue to pay my tuition for private school. He was also renovating our house with his own money. Some things were necessary (like the roof and siding), but others were not (landscaping, feng shui, etc.). I was really skeptical that he would spend so much money on my mom, considering how they had only just started dating. She seemed happy though, so I stopped worrying about her and just focused on school for a while.

She went to Vietnam for two months (June and July), saying she was going to get surgery because she got a papercut in her eye from a book, which sounded really sketchy because she doesn’t ever read. She always changed the subject whenever I inquired further, and I was too busy with school to really think about it. When I asked why she had to do it in Vietnam, she said it’s because she doesn’t have health insurance here in the U.S. When I asked why she had to stay there for so long, she said the process is much slower in Vietnam. She left us with some babysitter she just met, but I decided to stay home since I’m old enough (I’m 17). I slept over at a friend’s house for Fourth of July, and while I was there, my friend’s mom, who has always been a close family friend, asked me if I knew that my dad had bought life insurance, which she knew because my mom asked her to help her with some paperwork since my mom doesn’t know any English. This news hit me hard because I was under the impression that we didn’t have any money, so my mom lied to me. A couple weeks later when I was hanging out with my aunt and uncle for my birthday, my aunt told me that my mom was getting plastic surgery in Vietnam. My mom had called me saying she would stay in Vietnam for an extra week or two (she was originally going to stay for six weeks) because she got in a "car accident" in Vietnam, but knowing then that my mom was getting plastic surgery, I realized that was another lie and that she probably needed more time for her face to heal. When she got back, there was obviously no hiding it. She doesn’t look like my mom anymore. Tattooed eyebrows, eyes, nose, tattooed lipstick, chin, breast implants… She didn’t even bother to explain it to us, and she continues to be cheap with us, only spending money on herself and claiming they’re all gifts from her boyfriend. I was beginning to suspect that her boyfriend is only there so she can get away with spending all the life insurance money on herself. If it weren’t for my dad, she would send me to the terrible public school in my neighborhood instead. She doesn’t give a damn about my education. I can never talk to her about anything because she always either shuts herself up in her room or pretends she is deaf. If I bring up the topic in the car, she turns up the music really high to drown me out. My suspicion that I mentioned earlier was confirmed when I overheard my mom talking on the phone about how her boyfriend doesn’t actually have anything, about how he has multiple lovers, and how he’s encouraged her to abandon us but she wouldn’t. She changed the locks one day, and I thought her relationship with him was over, which would mean she was never dependent on him in the first place, but he started showing up again. I asked about the locks, and she said she changed them because my sister had difficulty unlocking them, but my sister said she never had any problems unlocking the doors. Another lie. I found an electric razor in her groceries, but she said he bought it, which didn’t explain why it was mixed in with her stuff and not in his possession. I also noticed he got plastic surgery as well, so I think he might be taking advantage of her since she said he doesn’t have any money.

In the car today, I asked my mom if my sister could go to my school because I want her to get a good education as well, but she insisted that we didn’t have any money. I pointed out that she had money for plastic surgery, but she turned the music volume up again as usual. When we got home, she told me to get out of the car, but I refused since she was always going places without telling us what she’s up to. She got out of the car and called her boyfriend. He came over and yelled at us, saying it’s her money and her life and that she can do whatever she wants. My mom just stood there and let him talk to us like that. She’s clearly chosen him over us. At this point, I am ready to just focus on school and move out as soon as I turn 18, but I’m worried about my sisters. I wish I could force him to leave somehow. I feel so powerless.

Gosh what money can do to ignore even their own kids. Your mom seems phycologically infected by her bf and spending away all the money. Very sad. But one day money will run out…she would be abandoned. The only thing she will have is kids.
What goes around comes around…she will get hers.
If you cant take the nonsense. Move away…
Its the best you can do for now…support yourself by parttime work. Else just ignore the things and live tillshe learns the lesson the hard way.
Another way get a lawyer and fight for your share and siblings share of the insurance money.
Take care and be strong.

5 Responses to “Is there anything I can do about my mom and her boyfriend?”

  1. Nothing says:

    I hate to tell you this, but your dad was possibly murdered. Check in on it.
    References :

  2. Ashley says:

    Wow"/…. That is horrible. My father passed away from lung cancer too. But that was 7 years ago when i was 9. My mother never did anything like that to me and my sister, she still works hard everyday to support us.. Was your mom ever this reckless before? Or is this a completely new thing? If mothers hate anything, its being told that they’re bad mothers. Maybe you should let her read your question description to get an idea of how stupid she is being. Sorry for your loss btw. Good luck.
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  3. bikinibabycum says:

    Gosh what money can do to ignore even their own kids. Your mom seems phycologically infected by her bf and spending away all the money. Very sad. But one day money will run out…she would be abandoned. The only thing she will have is kids.
    What goes around comes around…she will get hers.
    If you cant take the nonsense. Move away…
    Its the best you can do for now…support yourself by parttime work. Else just ignore the things and live tillshe learns the lesson the hard way.
    Another way get a lawyer and fight for your share and siblings share of the insurance money.
    Take care and be strong.
    References :

  4. ? says:

    I would talk to an adult who is a close family member on your dads side- possibly an aunt, uncle, grandmother that may be able to intervene and stop her from squandering all of the money when some of it should rightfully go to you. You may also want to look into having your sisters adopted by another family member that has more of your interest at heart. You can’t do much as a minor and you need to go to an adult and explain the situation so they can help- whether legally in court or just by taking you guys away from this situation.
    References :

  5. Ranger Jones says:

    Where did you EVER get the idea that it is a parent’s JOB to pay your lazyas& way to college? Yeah, move out, then see how you like it out there in the damm real world.
    References :
    Just Facts Plz

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